Welcome to Diabetes

April 25, 2007

I had my yearly check-up with my endocrinologist. I had just had a wonderful lunch with my younger brother, B. The nurse came in, pricked my finger. 283.

Um, I just had lunch with my brother. Maybe that is why it is so high.

It doesn't matter. It's high and you are officially diabetic.

What?

I had a series of tests done on my heart, feet, blood pressure, pulse and circulation. Everything came out fine but I was diabetic. People with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) don't usually have trouble with any of those except their blood sugar. Fuck me. I wasn't devastated considering that I was had been given an all clear with a breast specialist the week before. I'll gladly take this over that. However, the reality will eventually hit me later.

It did.

I have listened to my doctor since day 1 but I can't tell you how hard it is to know that people all around you should really be eating like you. I didn't develop diabetes for being overweight but rather for something else. Everyone is headed toward my disease by the time they are 40. I'm 31.

I've been good, really good and haven't cheated once. Water really helps. I'm still trying to control my blood sugar and pinpoint what exactly spikes it but I know I will manage it just fine. I don't want to lose my eyesight, my kidneys or a limb.

I'm on my way.