For Lunch

I had my what has become my customary breakfast; 2 breakfast tacos from Taco Cabana. I am going to quit that soon because of the flour tortillas though but until I finally can find something then I must stick to it.

For lunch I had a leftover pork chop. It was satisfying. No bread, no starches, no sides, nothing. In about an hour I am going to check my blood sugar and see how it came out from that lunch.

Edit: Nevermind. I just realized that I forgot my monitor at home.

Grocery Shopping

I was talking to my mom yesterday about how hard being diabetic is. Actually, it isn't in the sense of doing what you have to do but the hard part is grocery shopping. There are not a lot of diabetic-friendly foods out there. So many things have too many carbs, mostly made of sugar and high saturated fat. It can now take me more than an hour to shop and that is without filling up my cart. I can still see the bottom of my cart when I shop. I go through every aisle reading and counting and trying to come up with good meals that will not get me a high reading. The questions of will it or won't it constantly run through my mind. Getting in a good sale is not really a big thing anymore but rather finding out something that I can eat is. I have become that person-the carb counter. Everything I do is revolving around my diabetes. I cannot sleep too late, I cannot eat this or that, I must take my meds, I must check out my sugar, I must exercise, I must. If not, the consequences can be deadly. I'm only 31. I don't want to look and feel older when I am 40 with only 1 kidney working, my eyesight shot, circulation running badly, etc. I do not. It will only be harder if and when I decide to have children. I must maintain my blood sugar levels no more than 120 or I run the risk of bearing a child with birth defects.

It is a lot to take and while I still think it is not hard to do this, finding diabetic-friendly foods is.

God give me strength.

My Med Pen

I have to take my meds twice a day. It's a med pen. I have to inject it in my skin rather than directly into the blood stream like a syringe. Contrary to popular belief, it is not insulin. I am happy it is not insulin. That would mean I would be further down the line. I am not. I am good on everything. Coincidentally, I forgot take it before I ate lunch. I usually take it before my now brekfast time but I have been skipping it this week. Damn.

Pardon the grainy photo. My Fuji is still out of commission. I am almost done with the pen for the month.

Close-up of the needle.

The marks it has left on my side. Sometimes they get itchy. It doesn't hurt but sometimes it can leave you dejected.I learned how to check my blood sugar without that hurting as well. The side of the finger not the tip. All the nerves are there hence the pain. You can also try the palm.

Welcome to Diabetes

April 25, 2007

I had my yearly check-up with my endocrinologist. I had just had a wonderful lunch with my younger brother, B. The nurse came in, pricked my finger. 283.

Um, I just had lunch with my brother. Maybe that is why it is so high.

It doesn't matter. It's high and you are officially diabetic.

What?

I had a series of tests done on my heart, feet, blood pressure, pulse and circulation. Everything came out fine but I was diabetic. People with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) don't usually have trouble with any of those except their blood sugar. Fuck me. I wasn't devastated considering that I was had been given an all clear with a breast specialist the week before. I'll gladly take this over that. However, the reality will eventually hit me later.

It did.

I have listened to my doctor since day 1 but I can't tell you how hard it is to know that people all around you should really be eating like you. I didn't develop diabetes for being overweight but rather for something else. Everyone is headed toward my disease by the time they are 40. I'm 31.

I've been good, really good and haven't cheated once. Water really helps. I'm still trying to control my blood sugar and pinpoint what exactly spikes it but I know I will manage it just fine. I don't want to lose my eyesight, my kidneys or a limb.

I'm on my way.